better when we're together

we sit on the phone never knowing what the next word will be.
i antisipate your next move
and say something that will recover the current mood.
but my attempt fails
and we are back at square one.
where the silence is back over the converstaion.
and i am crying to myself
so you cant hear my insecurities.
you will never hear them.

and though they are loud
screaming in my head
these thoughts that over take my brain
you will never know.

because that would be the end.

and the end is not yet to come.




so we sit
and we wait.
you sigh,
and i guess thats a goodnight.

i will see you tomorrow.
tomorrow will be better i am sure?
i hope.

but that never gets me too far.


i can not ever seem to guess the mood that we will be in.
we need to step it up.

geeeezz.

well. lookie there.
i am procrastinating as usual.
i just really dont want to do my math project.
and i left my phone/purse/ipod/all that jazz at school.


great.
yeah, it stinks.




oowell.

along better

i say this in hopes that it stays like this.
i want nothing more than to be happy
and that is exactly where i am now.
today was good.
we are progressing.
it seems like theres been a slight cliff that we have totally plunged off of.
but were steadily making our way back up there.
it takes time.
but it just so happens that we are amazing
and i know it.
thats how we are going to make it baby.

just like that.
we are going to keep striving to get us back to the days when we were the perfect ones.
and that is where we are going to stay.

we=forever.
endofstory.

valentine for today love?

will you be mine?
you have to be mine cause i have no other.
so please love take the leap
and end up beside me like always.
my hand in yours
we will show the world that we are made for this
and today is not the only day we can show it.
so happy vanentines day my love.

p.s. im out of money.
so i made you a card instead.

its the thought that counts right.



i love him=)

one in a million right?

bff.
yeah. ok.
i am alone
as you are surrounded by the ones who will one day no longer matter.
picked last from the one of whom would be my first choice.

but its ok.
i like it that way.

its perfectly fine being the one person sitting by myself.
im content.



or so i think.
it wouldn't matter to you anyways.


God be with you.

one more.

this is the second one in like 5 minutes.
i exaggerate a little but thats ok.
i'm in 6th alone,
but i am perfectly content with it.
i am in despreate need for my bible.
i can not find it.
i take it everywhere,
and i have a memory similar to a goldfish...
not a good match.
i'm listening to this song that has an amazing piano playing in the background
but its being covered up by these people singing.
i think that the piano is ten million times better.
stupid people.
i really want to go home..
but there is definitly one more period to go.
i never do anything in that period anyways..
i might invest in a nap.
yesssssssss. that is what i will do.
so i am trying to get one of my friends to go with me to a singing with me this friday night,
because Saturday morning i am working at a breakfast at the school.
ughhhhhh.
8 in the morning.
not for little miss courtney.
i need to go to church.
i need to be surrounded by the people who share the same intrests and goals as me.
school is too filled with the things i want most to get away from.
trapped.
atleast our school isn't so strick that i can't bring my bible..
i couldn't go to a school like that.
God needs to be in schools.
why do you think there is so much violence?
i have 2 min.
gone so fast...
on to 7th

just some of the things.

maybe some of us need to become more compassionate and understanding.
maybe some of us need to focus more on others than ourselves.
i am definitly not talking about anyone specific here,
i am talking in general.
i need to
and so does everyone else.
we all have the faults that should keep us out of heaven,
but by the grace of God, our Hosanna, more than likely it won't if we pray right.

we should stay out of the drama that surrounds us,
and let go of the things that force us closer to the things of evil.

preaching to the choir isn't part of this.
everyone needs to think of other's feelings.

love one another.
loving someone is putting up with their nonsense.
even if it does make you mad.


if you think i am writing this about you... you are right.
this is about everyone.